Tuesday

Um.. Tuesday – the name derives from the Norse god, Tyr.  Tiw being an alternate form of Tyr and the day literally being Tiw’s Day.  Tyr was used because it is a Norse war god – most Latin based laguages use the Roman god Mars – such as Mardi in French.

I have nothing to say today.

I started reading a new book today – last night maybe.  It is awesome.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!  I just thought of this major problem I have.  For my birthday Mom bought me new bedding.  (Sad, but true.)  Anyway, the sheets are slippery.  Every morning as I throw off the covers they slide right off the bed.  Gah.  Gah I say.

The trials and tribulations of my life.  🙂

 

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The popcorn story

Apparently I missed the mark on the story yesterday being funny.  I’ll try again.

Growing up I loved popcorn.  The family had a hotair popcorn maker.  Every Friday (maybe Thursday) night, we would watch the Dukes of Hazzard or the A-Team.  I would make the popcorn.  I’d lie on the couch, Tim would get a corner of the couch or the floor, Dad his chair.  Mom wasn’t a huge fan of those shows, but often was in the room too.  It was a family ritual.

So the popcorn was a scoopful of popcorn, a melted slice of butter between 1/8 and 1/4 of a cup, and a sprinkling of salt.

Then I got braces.  With braces you look funny.  You mumble when you talk (more than normal).  And you have to restrict your diet.  No cobbed corn.  No apples.  No popcorn.  I’m not sure what the worst part was.  The lack of popcorn or the fact the the backs of my orthodontists fingers were hairy. (Eww.)

I was in braces for approximately 500 years.  Or so it seemed.  All around me people ate popcorn.  Ate popcorn by the bucketful.  Cruel, cruel people.

Finally one day we went to GP and had the braces removed.  That evening I had invited folks over for a popcorn party.  I made extra popcorn.  Two scoops worth.  I melted extra butter.  A bit too much butter.  I didn’t estimate very well for the extra people, but I was fine with that.  I liked my popcorn buttery.

I have to admit that I think I ate most of the popcorn.  I’m not sure what else we did that evening.  My focus was the popped kernels.

Now the infamous part is coming up.  When we were done the popcorn, there remained in the bottom of the popcorn bowl a small puddle of buttery, popcorny, salty goodness.  I was a machine.  After so long with nothing, I wanted to waste none of my popcorn feast.

So I finished the butter in the bottom of the bowl as well.  To the horror of the onlookers, I raised the bowl and swallowed the remnants.  Very unhealthy and I’ve never lived it down.  But the experience was a complete one.

Delayed gratification is the best kind.  I highly recommend you all get braces so that you can have some as well.

The Greatest Villain of all Time!

No I’m not referring to Nero or Genghis Khan.  I’m talking about Suvudu’s cage match:

Cage Match

The website has selected 32 of the best villains from sci-fi and fantasy literature and film and pitted them against one another in a series of one-on-one cage matches.  You should all run off and vote right now.  I’ll wait.

Suvudu did this about 6 months ago as well, but it wasn’t only villains.   Here

Gamespot just finished a very similar poll with game villains.  Here

This is my favorite poll of the three.  Mostly because I know more about most of the participants.  There are only 5 villains about whom I’m either uninformed or uninterested.

My picks for the final four are:

  • The Mule
  • Gaius Baltar
  • Slake Moth
  • Darth Vader

The Mule is just cool.  He’s from one of the classic sci-fi tales of all time and he single handedly alters the course of an entire galactic civilization.  Gaius Baltar is one of the ultimate survivors.  He is my underdog pick and will advance by being a shameless lickspittle to more powerful foes.  The slake moth is quite powerful, but is simply an animal.  I’m picking it based on my fondness for the source material.  Finally Darth Vader is the Dark Lord of the Sith and it would be a mistake to underestimate the power of the force.

When the Mule and Gaius meet up it will be a classic match-up of those who people underestimate.  Unfortunately for Gaius, the Mule will manipulate him into switching sides for real instead of only for convenience.

Darth Vader and the slake moth will be a much more physical battle.  They both weild forces beyond the ken of most mere mortals.  However Vader can only be beaten in a supreme act of self-sacrifice and the slake moth isn’t capable of that.  I think Vader will likely lose a lim (cybernetic), but the moth will eventually be sliced in half.

So Darth Vader vs. The Mule:

Unfortunately for The Mule, Vader will use Sense Emotion and identify the subtle manipulation that the Mule exerts on people around him.  Realizing the threat he poses, he will use an imperial fleet to blockade the planet the Mule is on from orbit, borrow a Death Star from the Emperor and then blast it to pieces. To paraphrase Hudson, “Blow up the place from orbit.  It’s the only way to be sure!’

I’m sure others have a different view.

BTW, thanks to Craig for forwarding me the link originally!

Morning Routine

Wow – I really have to apologize for this post.  We’ll be hitting the mundane minutia of my daily existence.

Back in the GoA days, I used to get up at 7 and arrive at work at 8:15.  The early GoA days.  As I began to work later my start time also moved later until I sometimes found myself getting into work around 9.  So I moved my wakeup time to 6:30 and aimed to always be into work by 8:30.

Moving my wakeup time 30 minutes earlier was rough.  I am not a morning person.  If I were to rank my 5 favorite things rolling over and going back to sleep in the morning would rank high.

My new job has three new qualities: a longer commute (including a short walk), an earlier start time and my earnest commitment not to get in late.  I analyzed the requirements and reluctantly moved by wake-up time to 5:30 am with an aim to leave the house at 7 am.  Correspondingly I’ve moved my bedtime to 10 pm.  Gah!  There are nine year olds staying up later than I.

At 5:30 am my tv turns on.  I started using my tv as an alarm many years ago.  I discovered that it was too easy to hit a snooze bar, but the news would wake me up.  Unfortunately at 5:30 there is no news.  There are infomercials.  I know everything there is to know about Dr. Ho’s Ho Physio belt and pads, Time’s Life’s golden age of country and the Jawhorse.  I find the Jawhorse mesmerizing. I sometimes forget to get up as I listen to the claims in the commercial.

Even when it isn’t the Jawhorse I rarely leap from bed.  Normally i takes 10 to 15 minutes for me to convince myself to rise.  In the worst case I make sure to be mobile before the news actually does start at 6.  Then its off to bathroom #1 to brush my teeth.  Then the kitchen for two glasses of water.  Then bathroom #2 for the 5S’s (or at least most of them).  When done it is normally around 6:15.  If it is later it means i have to put the foot down and get going.

I find that a warm shower helps though and I’m generally moving quicker once that is finished.  Back to Bathroom #1 to shave and take care of my hair.  Then it is off to get dressed.  Optimally I finish in time to sit and watch to 6:30 news update, but more normally I watch as I dress.

At 6:50 I put on my shoes.  In theory this means I should have around 20 minutes to read some comics, catch the business news and figure out what my goals for the day are.  Often it is 10 to already when I get out to my shoes.  Once shod, I gather my keys and sundry items, slap on a coat and head out the door.

Hmm – what does this tell us?  Well, I was unable to make this subject in any way interesting.  I thought there might be a joke or two on my way through.  Hmm…not so much.  Second, I love to have a routine.  Third, I have trouble sticking to it.  Grr.

Aargh.

Having got that tedious subject off my chest, I’m hoping I can post something interesting before the end of the week.

“I told you that story so I could tell you this one.”

Warning: This post contains recountings of inadvertent bare-assery.  You have been warned.

Note:  My swim club post made swimming sound like a solitary sport.  It is both a team sport and a solitary sport.  Maybe someday I’ll go into that.

These are two of my most embarrassing anecdotes.

Other than swimming competitively my favorite place to swim was Slocan Lake in the Kootenays.  Not when I was young because I was fairly certain I was sharing the lake with the Ogopogo, but once I was older and realized it was likely a harmless lake monster.

We were down at the bay one day on vacation.  There was a nice raft out on the lake for swimming out to and jumping off of.  This day there was also a big log floating in the bay.  It was perfect for reenactments of scenes from “The Log Driver’s Waltz.”  At least it was until I slipped from the log and a protruding branch remnant caught my swimsuit and pulled me under the water as the log rolled.

I wasn’t in much danger.  I pushed out against the log and came free.  I don’t think I even lost my breath.  But I did lose my suit.  It ripped nicely into two pieces.  I had to run out to my towel on the beach – my full moon eclipsing the midday sun.  Fortunately I had only family on the beach… of course that means I can still of it to this day.

At least it was only semi-public though.

Years later, in my second year of university, I went to the West Ed Mall water park with some friends.  Stef was bringing Pauly and I to meet his girlfriend for the first time.  She had come into town with her twin sister.  The way I remember it neither Pauly nor I were hitting on the sister, but as Stef and his future wife were spending time together, we were left to entertain her.  Regardless of our intent our reception was decidedly frosty.

We were sitting in either a hot tub or just the shallow end of the pool when I grew tired of he mostly uncomfortable silence and went to play in the waves.  I was happily diving into the waves and throwing myself over them when Pauly came running into the pool behind me.  He was calling my name, but doing it sotto voce.  When he reached me, he said:

“Todd, you’ve ripped the ass end our your suit.”

He might have said more, but I was already on my way back to the dressing room.  I spent the rest of the afternoon on a lounge chair watching the fun.

I may not have wanted to hit on the sister, but I found that I certainly made no time with her even after revealing my best end.

Soo tired

That is so with two Os.  That means I am really tired.

I botched the last class tonight.  I was rambly and off topic.  Hopefully they still got something out of it.

I was going to respond to some comments tonight, but instead I am going to bed.  A nice comfy bed with four great pillows.  My pillows.  They like me and want me to sleep.

I hear them calling now…

Winter – the pros and cons

Winter has been on my mind lately.  Lurking like a serial killer in an urban legend.  Perhaps though I am being too hard on the season.  To weigh it carefully I have compiled this list of pros and cons.

Pros:

  1. That first brisk breath of air that frosts up your lungs
  2. The look of frost on a clear morning coating the trees
  3. The cheery glow of a fireplace warming the home
  4. A cup of warm beverage warming the fingers and gullet
  5. The spooky play of steam rising from the storm sewers
  6. The dynamic play of ice fog across the streets on a cold, cold night
  7. Christmas

7 things.  More than I anticipated.  I think there might be only four things I dislike:

  1. The cold
  2. The snow
  3. The ice
  4. The unending darkness

But I beleive I can coax out more specifics:

  1. Every freezing breath after the first out in the cold
  2. Runny noses
  3. Eyes watering from the wind
  4. Glasses fogging up coming in from the cold
  5. Stupid winter drivers
  6. Treacherous roads threatening even the cautious
  7. Getting frost bit fingers touching a vehicle for even a moment
  8. Attempting to extricate myself from my car without sure footing
  9. Worrying about walking across the ice
  10. Attempting to walk across the ice
  11. Shoving my walker through snow – it hates snow – odd in that it doesn’t have many other anthropomorphic properties
  12. Falling on the ice
  13. Dying while lying n the ground slowly freeing to death
  14. Wearing heavy clothes and bundling up
  15. Losing dexterity in the fingers due to either the cold or the mittens
  16. Getting up in the dark
  17. Going to bed in the dark
  18. Going to work in the dark
  19. Going home from work in the dark

Analyzing the list I think I can come to the conclusion that winter is best enjoyed from inside while watching it out of the window.  I think it is a pretty objective study.