I was going to write about an interesting topic from Dave’s wall tonight. But this came up:
Remember my post about bullying? Two girls
Last night I received this message from an old classmate:
Hi Todd, I’m sure you remember me? Bumped into your name here and kinda flashed back a bit. I was a real shit head to you when we were kids, I think I was ok in High school, but you stick out as a someone I didn’t treat very well for a period of time… Anyhow sorry about that… Not sure that’s necessary, but felt compelled. I was an angry kid at the time, was never about you. Sorry if this seems strange.
Hope you’re well 😊
Which shows I was picked on as a kid a bit.
This came out of nowhere. I haven’t had any contact with this person in decades. It is weird and cool that he feels guilty now.
While this person’s teasing surely counts as bullying, I didn’t feel bullied. The bad behaviour was mostly making fun of my name – “Hey Dick!” followed by a nasty laugh. Or maybe some teasing about being a nerd. I don’t remember any violence or even the threat of violence. I also don’t remember it being an ongoing assault. Just the occasional taunt in the hall when he was feeling mean.
I have a funny last name. I am a nerd. A Utopia where no teasing ever happens is not something I envision. But people should feel safe and valued and loved. Which I always did. Not really due to this fellow, but due to my own friends and family.
This is what I wrote back:
Hi xxxxx Of course I remember you. Thanks for the apology, I appreciate it.
But don’t worry about it. While I remember you being an occasional jerk, I don’t remember you being like that all the time. Nor do I remember you picking on me in particular.
I certainly don’t have any scars from it.
I hope you are well too. Take care.
Stay good people.