- “Get her!” is not a good plan.
- “Nobody steps on a church in my town.” is a solid life rule.
- Sometime you have to cross the streams.
- If you actually do “tell them about the twinkie” it will likely just result in getting you locked up.
- Alternating the two highest notes on a piano is annoying to ghosts.
- Every guy wants a fireman’s pole linking the upper story and the lower story of their house.
- Being able to clear your mind of all thoughts is a useful skill. Take a seminar on meditation.
- At least don’t think about mascots when in a life and death situation.
- Unlicensed nuclear accelerators work fine even without a real field test.
- Disturbingly if someone blows their nose, someone might want to keep it.
- It is a crime if nothing ever happens in the bedroom.
- At university, they give you money and facilities, but you don’t need to produce results.
- Not getting involved with possessed people should be a rule more than a guideline.
- It is fair to dissuade the skeptical with “Back off man. I’m a scientist.”
- And most importantly, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say yes!
Some of these lessons might be better than others.