Anti-Resolutions (Who’d Win)

For it has been said unto me*, “You are practically perfect in every way,” it would be the acme of hubris for me to resolve to be any better**.  No resolutions here.

Let’s be silly instead.

By the time the Internet came around I had mostly grown out of the “who’d win?” game.  A shame because the Interweb sites are filled with that kind of useless debate.  For example, if  the Predator were to fight the Alien in the squared circle, who’d win?

I always knew that there is no good answer because the characters are fictional.  At best if they ever did face off in the comic the fight would be a draw, would serve the plot of the story or would cater to the hero of the book.  Examples are impossible to give merit to because any particular hero will usually lose more often than they win within the pages of their book or movie.  However, during the climatic fight at the end, it is always the hero who emerges victorius.

So almost any scenario comes down personal preferences and which debater can wield their truthiness better.

But that is no fun.  I’m going to debate it anyway.  Let’s start with an easy one with characters most people would know.

If Captain America and Batman were to fight, who’d win?

Within their respective fictional universes, both heroes are judged to be the best hand-to-hand fighters both in training and execution.  Draw.

Captain America as super-powers and Batman doesn’t.  So that is clearly a mark in Cap’s favour although Cap’s powers generally make him to be just a level beyond the peak of the best olympic athlete and Batman has trained up to be at the level of such an athlete.  So the difference between them isn’t huge.  Advantage Cap.

Batman has gadgets.  Cap has an indestructible shield.  Batman has a cool car, plane, motorbike, hanggliders, etc.  Cap has whatever the government military or SHIELD can lend him.  While the shield is cool and Cap’s helmet has wings, while they will both likely have the resources they need to any plot, I need to give the edge to the Batman here.

Both have teen sidekicks who have grown to assume their mantles.  That is a weird coincidence.  Bucky is certainly meaner than Robin though.  But Robin has more experience – kinda. I like Bucky more so advantage Cap.

Their M.Os are quite different.  Cap leads from the front in daylight.  Batman leads from the back as a planner.  When solo he uses fear and planning and the cover of night.  Neither is headstrong or likely to proceed without a plan or an exit strategy, but it is part of the Batman’s characterization that he is always one step ahead.  Go with the caped crusader here.

They are hard to separate on intangibles.  Their drive to succeed are both beyond human.  They both have bad luck when it comes to romantic entanglements.  Draw.

Batman has a butler. At best Cap might have an LMD that Nick Fury has lent him or Stark’s butler Jarvis might make him a sandwich.  Advantage Batman.

I’m going to pick the Batman as my favorite in this fight.

*I’ve had to say it to myself.  But that still counts.

**It is possible I need to word on my pride.  Happy New Year everybody!


5 thoughts on “Anti-Resolutions (Who’d Win)

  1. Craig says:

    If unarmed I’d go with the Alien, Arnold stood his own against the Predator but Ripley had to get into an exo-skeleton to take down the Alien.

    • Well, I can’t argue that Ripley kicks Arnie’s butt. I mean the Predator couldn’t even take out Adrian Brody and that kid from the 70s show in this years release.

      (Adrian Brody was pretty bad-ass in the movie though.)

  2. Dano says:

    I think your spell checker twisted you up. I assume you mean unto, not until.

    • I was tired. That might have been me. Either way it was me making a typo.

      Nicely undercuts my sentence though.

      (Maybe I should have left it in instead of correcting it.)

      • Dano says:

        Yeah, I really wanted to do a snarky, “Perfect . . . you can’t even get a simple figure of speech right,” comment but thought it would be unfair. typos happen.

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