Woe is me

Actually, I’m thinking that Woeisme would be a great name for a child.  You can use it if you like.

Played Rock Band for the first time recently.  Hmm – bad sentence.  I’ve played it often.  I am a Rock Band Guitar Hero! But I haven’t played recently.  While playing it seemed that I was less hero’ish than normal.  A critical observer , of which I’m one, might have commented that I suck.

Obviously, I don’t actually suck.  I am nifty.  This precludes suckage.  So the only explanation is that beyond my infestations of poof goblins, dryer lint and rancid food I also am plagued by Game Mites.

I am dismissing allegations that Nintendo is out to get me.  It is not that they made the game harder.  Nintendo is Good.  They act only in my self-interest.

Nope it is game mites.  Malicious rearrangers of optical bits on a disk.  I’ve tried to spray for them, but it just leaves a bad ammonia smell on the disks.

Apparently they have also gotten into my resume!  Gah.  Horrors.  When I send it out it is a marvel of genius and persuasiveness.  But the game mites modify it enroute to be garbage.  This explains the lack of calls this week.  Really the only explanation.

So – looking for advice on game mite eradication.  And a warning to be careful if you are coming over, you could take some home with you!

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7 thoughts on “Woe is me

  1. Suellen says:

    The only thing that will rid yourself of game mites is to remove the systems entirely and get a new one. It’s an extremem measure but one that almost invariable works.

    As for the lack of calls this week, the intertubes is all clogged up with cat hair. Ask Craig. At any time now, I expect the Intertubes to hack up one big hairball.

    It’ll be messy. And yucky. Just don’t be anywhere in the area when it happens.

  2. Dano says:

    As I understand it, game mites despise the smell created when fingers work really hard at something like playing Rock Band. I recommend that you play lots and lots of Rock Band, get that finger odour up and you will find that the game mites go away and you no longer appear to suck.

    Of course, Suellen is right. You can never truly get rid of game mites. As soon as you take a long break again they will come back.

  3. Dano says:

    Oh, and Woeisme is a great name for a young girl. She’ll fit right in with her brother, Givemeawedgie, and sister, Iminadequiteandworryaboutmyweight. No risk of self fulfilling prophesies here.

  4. ttgdyck says:

    Got it. Avoid the innertubes by staying clear of the mall and cats until some unspecified future. Fill the time by playing Guitar Hero.

    Maybe I can just send a dog in after the cat instead. And then a goat, a cow and a horse.

    Woeisme’s self-fulfilling prophecy will surely come true then!

  5. David Silvestri says:

    false rumor actually… game mites are actually irradicated by playing an RPG. These engrossing tales are so enticing to Game mites that they sit and watch, forgetting to eat, and then they die.

    RPGs can also be slow moving due to the sheer amount of dialog. Game Mites with ADD/ADHD end up becoming bored and leaving… heading to other systems… usually Nintendo because they don’t have many good RPGs. 😀

  6. Robin Turcotte says:

    Game mites must be attracted to platform games cause it has been years now that I haven’t played better then sucky, about the time I fell in love with platform games.

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